Things Not Allowed to Do at Hogwarts
by vixen519
Summary: Based on those HILARIOUS icons "Things I am NOT Allowed to say at Hogwarts" we have all seen. Longer chapters now! And new rating
1. bees

**Things Not Allowed to Do at Hogwarts**

Disclaimer: Harry Potter – Rowling owns. Icons…not sure WHO made them but not me. Just the fanfic bit… I think. For all I know somebody else could have done this before me.

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Chapter 1 – Bees

Ron, Harry and Hermione were sitting at breakfast on a usual day of breakfast. Well until Luna left her bright blue table of Ravenclaw and headed towards another. That of the Hufflepuff's.

"Please tell me she is going inform them the latest edition of 'The Quibbler' is out…"

She wasn't. She had her spoon in her hand for some odd reason, but she was an odd girl. Luna "Looney" Lovegood then proceeded to go up to Hannah Abbott and poke her with said spoon. This certainly got Hannah's attention.

"What the devil are you doing Lovegood?"

"Getting the bees off you of course!"

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Not the funniest but I like it. Tell me what you think – first attempt at humor…

_Vixen519_


	2. fake irwinian

**Things Not Allowed To Do at Hogwarts**

Note: About the first chapter – WOW!! Thanks you guys, if you like this check out _Go With Me?_ It's HP/GW pairing with slight RW/HG in it. I'm glad you all like this thus far.

And BTW funny and true story, I went out of town this weekend and had a picnic with my family while there. At said picnic some frickin' BEES infiltrated our campsite but my Mom captured them in a Sprite container smartly so. I have a picture to prove it! But onto the ficlet

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**Chapter 3 – Fake Irwinian?**

"Now see here Harrrryyee! The Erumpment**/ **is a VARY large gray African beast of GREAT powar" Hagrid informed them, well Harry mostly of the odd creature before them.

Hermione at the moment was slamming her frizzy head into her text book, highly amusing sight to be seen I assure you. Draco from the looks of things looked more confused the Crabbe & Goyle usually were but they seemed to understand what he was saying for once! Ron and Harry you ask? They were holding up a candy box marked "Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes" with a missing 'Aussie' jellybean.

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I quote DIRECTLY today from _Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them_ (**/**).

_Vixen519_


	3. Extra Credit

**Things Not Allowed to Do at Hogwarts**

AN: I seriously think either it's you lot or something/one is persuading me to write on. I was watching 'The Simpsons' last night and it was the episode where in the beginning of it they have a faux Steve Irwin in it. Made me sad and laugh at the same time.

Also for all the _hits thus far,_ you guys rock! For everyone who liked the first two – here's the 3rd –

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**_Chapter 3 – "Extra Credit"_**

Severus Snape was patrolling the halls, as usual when he heard the Weasley Twins.

"…Gred, for the THOUSANDTH time! Mum shall NOT take away our home-cauldrons for this – it's EXTRA-CREDIT for Herbology!"

"Ah-ha! What are you two up to? A prank no doubt? Lets see here…"

The Potions Master summoned the small burlap sack they held, before they could run for it. He looked inside at what was they're "extra-credit". He blinked a couple times and looked back & forth at the pair of them.

"Are you two AWARE OF WHAT THIS IS?"

"Dean Thomas informed us it's marijuana! That's a plant, so extra-credit"

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Those two were the ONLY ones I can imagine doing this –giggles-, I have a MAD crush on them. It makes my b/f upset at times actually.

Until my next sugar-rush,

_Vixen519_


	4. Got Wood?

**Things Not Allowed to Do At Hogwarts**

AN: This post is a pick me up. Won't go much into details so read on-

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**Chapter Five: Got Wood?**

"I'd let Oliver put HIS Wood in me _ANY _day!"

"TWENTY POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR MISS BROWN!"

"I don't care if he is a filthy captain, I would lick his wood to see if is infact OILVE flavor-wood!"

"DENTION MISS JONES! Honestly girls what in the WORLD has gotten into the lot of you?" Minerva McGonagall pondered.

What she didn't know was they, Hestia Jones & Lavender Brown knew the man himself was around the corner and could hear them. The points and detentions were well worth it after the lectures for what Oliver gave the 'winner' later.

- - -

The icon on this one said "I've heard EVERY possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is NOT a challenge. And I tweaked the ending to naughtiness ;) You lot imagine who the winner of it was . BTW word count: _**97**_

_Vixen519_


	5. Run!

Things Not Allowed to Do At Hogwarts

AN: Inspired by 1- Harry's birthday and 2)a HILARIOUS movie I just watched with Matthew McFayden called Death at a Funeral.

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**Chapter 6- RUN DRACO RUN!**

The injury had been quite normal really.

Draco had much worse happen to him - especially since the Twins were targeting the Slytherins this month in pranks.

However, Madam Pomfrey insisted that he strip down to nothing for a bath, and a shot.

After the bath he was ok but once informed of a shot got involved he fled the Hospital Wing. And THAT'S when he made the mistake of not realizing it was the change of classes at that moment as well.

"RUN DRACO RUN!"

"GET BACK HERE MR. MALFOY FOR THAT SHOT!"

Giggles followed him as he ran.

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I posted this in help of my USB drive everyone. Hope you lot enjoyed it. Shall post again (hopefully) soon,

_Vixen519_


	6. Quills

**Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts**

AN: I'M BACK!! Yeah I was out of town for my grandmother's surgery, which went well. The last post was actually at her place on my USB – I hope you all liked it! Here's your new Chappie-

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**Chapter 7 – Quills**

The quill had gone missing after Umbridge was banned from the school; however they **all** knew of its existence. But _where_ it had gone was another thing.

Ron and Hermione were doing rounds one day when they heard the scream. They ran to investigate. Inside one the Herbology classrooms was Percy and Penelope Clearwater – with Umbridge's horrible quill!

"Penny its ok…I believe you!"

"But you **don't** Percy; I want to prove I can be hardcore!"

At that Ron and Hermione ran, pretending they never saw or heard a thing that day on rounds.

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**Tell me what y'all think**! I shall be busy but will try to update this when I can :D

_Vixen519_


	7. Shower

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

AN: Sorry it's been a few days, suddenly got an application and an interview that came up! So took care of that (well first part, second happens Monday). Here's the first update of the night:

**Chapter 8: Showers**

Harry was supposed to meet Ron at Hogsmeade about an hour ago but Ron was incredibly late! He decided at this point to check the Marauders Map incase anything dreadful had happened to his friend. He spotted him in the 'Prefects Bathroom'.

Upon going in he heard Moaning Myrtle talking to Ron but couldn't specify what they were saying to one another.

"RON! What the devil are you doing in here? You were supposed to meet me at Hogsmeade an hour ago!"

"Oh…well I was just, as we like to call it 'giving Myrtle an eyeful' since she can't do anything"

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I hope y'all enjoy'd that, or that it didn't freak you out too much. Onto the next update of the night!

_Vixen519_


	8. Polish

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

AN: I'm being very nice to you lot tonight! TWO chapters in ONE night –sqwee- ! I hope this makes up for lack of update during this week. Maybe I can do that for my other ficlet I Can't Let You Go, which is becoming quite hard to turn out the next chapter! Anywho's onward:

**Chapter 9: Polish**

Minerva just couldn't take her Gryffindor's ANYmore! She had just given a detention to Neville Longbottom for something she had never given in all her years at Hogwarts.

-Flashback-

Minerva walks into the Common Room and sees Neville _handling_ something. What it is, she is not sure. She barks, "Longbottom! What are doing up late and what are you holding?"

He jerks up shocked/terrified to see her so suddenly "Well, you see Professor..I was uh **polishing"**

"What the devil do you mean by THAT?" And then she saw what he meant. Afterwards she explained you cannot polish _that_ kind of wand in the common room.

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There ya go everyone! i hope I don't get cancelled for something like this /

_Vixen519_


	9. Asleep

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

AN: Because two updates was not enough for me –giggles-

**Chapter 10: Asleep**

"WHY DOES EVERYBODY SAY _I'M_ THE BLOODY DEATH-EATER, WHY NOT CHECK SODING POTTER FOR ONCE?"

That certainly awoke Harry from his usually boring History of Magic class. He had **no** clue what had been going on while rested but something had apparently. He just shrugged of the accusation and let them check his arm. He shouldn't have.

-GASPS-

"Harry, when'd you join Voldy?"

Harry looked down at his arm and sure enough someone had done a ghastly sketch of his symbol while he had snoozed "Oh very funny you wankers"

Giggles echoed throughout the classroom while the teacher, as always was clueless as ever.

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Ok, NOW I shall follow as my title of my chapter. Wow, already at 10 - rock on!

_Vixen519 _


	10. Replacements

Things Not Allowed to Do At Hogwarts

_AN:_ It has been brought to my attention I have skipped some of the icons. I thought I made it clear I would not being doing ALL if these. Because some of these you cannot really put on here. Don't really know who Doug Henning is, didn't know how to do the Giant Squid date thing. The other's I skip in the future I'll tell y'all in the future. It won't be many, so don't worry.

On another note this one is for Ginny Weasley – Happy Birthday even though your fiction :D _"The thing about growing up with Fred and George, is that you sort of start thinking anything's possible if you've got enough nerve_." _- Ginny Weasley_

**Chapter 11- Replacements**

One day at the Quidditch pitch,

"Katie, I don't think Hermione is going to like that we are doing this!" Harry said very panicked.

"Don't worry, she'll understand our usual equipment got snatched by Slytherin's and we had to practice with _something_ or we'd lose to those thieves!"

"WHAT THE DUECE ARE YOU USING HOUSE ELVES FOR IN QUDDITCH?!" Hermione hollered arriving onto the scene

"I said she wouldn't understand…"He mumbled hoping to get away before Hermione figured out what was going on.

"We needed replacements for equipment, such as the snitch, quaffle and er…"

"YOU'RE USING THEM AS **BLUDGERS!?"**

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te-heh, I hope y'all enjoyed that as much i enjoyed writing it. I referred to my _Qudditch Throughout the Ages_ for listing of balls to be sure I got them all. I forget over time -blush-, until next time

_Vixen519_


	11. Betting

_Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts_

AN: FYI – have a poll for you all on what's your favorite of all the ones I have done thus far. It's on my profile so go vote. I'll close it as soon I post 20 or there's a difference. Whichever happens first really?

**Chapter 12 – Betting**

"Think she is nutters as her cousin? I say 3 sickles and 5 knuts she lasts until Halloween, wasn't that when he freaked out about the troll?" Dean snickered.

"…Now I want you all to give a grand welcome to Professor Jessica Quirrell!" Dumbledore introduced the new Professor to the students. He was well aware his students were betting on how long the new D.A.D.A teacher would last, it was a 'common tradition' at the school that had been since Tom cursed the position.

"Oh Dean! Can I have a word?"

Dean looked confused but nodded, "1 galleon on Christmas"

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Don't forgot to review OR do the poll on my profile!! Later

_Vixen519_


	12. Ask

_Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts_

Poll at Vixen519 profile www. fanfiction .net /vixen519 -no spaces and with that wavey sign next to 1 button before vixen519

**Chapter 13 – Ask**

All Percy had to do was ask a simple question to win the bet from his silly brothers George and Fred. How they got a galleon he didn't want to know but he wanted it to spend on Penelope –swoon- 'Ah, Focus Weasley! The moment he comes in….'

"Good afternoon morons, I hope you did your homework or that's 15 points off each of your house! Today we will be boiling toads "Snape walked in talking.

"Uh Professor? I wanted to ask you a question." Snape nodded for him to go on, "Is today's project suitable for sexual lubricant?"

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AN: Ah, what some say is what we use my own profession –massage-.Which btw we don't unless your working the strip joints and that only happens if one doesn't have a license AND is illegal –le sigh-, babble done

hope you all enjoyed percy-awkwardness! until next time,

_Vixen519_


	13. After me

Things Not Allowed to Do At Hogwarts

**Chapter 14: After me…!**

Parvati felt like somebody had been following her all week. She had the sneaking suspicion that somehow it was one her classmates playing a prank of her but it didn't quite _feel_ as that as the week turned into two. She tried consulting her usually helpful Divination but nothing was helping her in what was going on!

In the Divination Tower though she got her answer," SEAMUS?! What the devil are you doing here? You're here after my 'lucky charms' aren't you pervert!".

He just gapped at her, "No you twit, I just want the notes I missed two weeks ago"

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AN: So **super** sorry didn't update sooner, I have a job now –blush n grin-. But fyi for those of you keeping up with the chart, skipped "liftus sepratus not a real spell" cuz had NO clue what that was about to be honest. That may make me some thing or other but rather busy right now. AND skipped "Chick Tracts" one because had not a clue what that was about. If you do then snaps for you

_Vixen519_


	14. Book

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

**Chapter 15: Book**

It was as if somebody had taken away Severus' ultimate birthday wish now they had returned both sets of the children to their normal sizes. No one was quite sure who had done it but Filch was still hiding in his office with Firewiskey muttering about wanting Henning or something or other.

When he had been on rounds in the library he noticed book-sized versions of the Patil twins on one shelf following his movements and then across from them the Weasley twins! After that he began screaming and nearly woke the whole castle. Dumbledore laughed his head off but Minerva was upset to un-jinx them.

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AN: Still have the barely touched poll on the profile, OH and combined 18 and 19 for those watching the list. Hope the reference of another makes some of you happy.

_Vixen519_


	15. Orange

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

**Chapter 16 – Orange**

The lake was over-flooding because of some severe hurricane that had decided to come _way_ up north that year. So everyone was currently sending protection charms onto the school and Hogsmeade so no major damage would happen.

They also had to wear gear to indicate where they were since they weather was getting so dreadful. Remus was sporting an orange anorak he had gotten from Tonks while everyone else wore glowing yellow anorak's. He kept hearing a giggle here and there but didn't understand why, so he asked Harry what was up.

"Oh my gosh, Kenny your alive!" and proceeded to hug him.

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AN: Last post of the night, exhaustion hitting so DO MY POLL!! I'm closing it after I post up to 20 chapters y'all.

_Vixen519_


	16. AM Radio

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

**Chapter 17: AM Radio**

"When I find the git that did this I'm gonna bat-boogey them until the next Dark-Wizard is born…"Ginny swore.

"…NATO currently saying that the allegations are unfound about the air strike in France recently, I suggest they check for the Hebridean Black that is on the loose from the Ministry! Meanwhile on the other side of the globe, the International Olympic Committee is looking into the Chinese team about their Gymnastic girls. It seems they don't look their ages, took a page out of your own Weasley twins hmmm?"

"Argh, gimme my wand to end Luna now! I'll kill whoever gave her scripts to AM-Radio!"

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AN: Skipping "were-thylacine", because that thylacine thing is extinct. Bet y'all thought I wouldn't even bother, huh!

News report involving NATO from cnn online , Hebridean Black from _Fantastic Beast_, Olympic news from BBC online

_Vixen519_


	17. Eight

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

**Chapter 18: Eight**

Sybill Trelawney did _not_ get angry. She just had to keep repeating that to herself as she heard her students snickering to themselves over her predictions of the future. Then she saw _**it**_.

"My Dad got it on while he was visiting Charlie! Isn't it great? I know it's a little weird but probably more accurate then _her..." _Ron told them.

Sybill stomped over and saw the black thing with the mocking 8 to ask, "Well its soooo accurate then, will you be getting detention for that Weasley?"

The ball told them their answer as they shook "It is certain"

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AN: …And we're back! Yeah I'm just gonna go head and close the poll. And _delete the AN note that's the "first chapter_" so **DON'T FREAK OUT **when you see that soon. It's just messing up my stats. I'm just gonna copy and paste the info onto the profile.

_Vixen519_


	18. Silver

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

**Chapter 19: Silver**

Irma Pince had seen many things as librarian at Hogwarts over the years, but this was just bizarre! She had been making her rounds about the library; double checking for pranks, hexing and the students who liked to snog her and there through-out the library when she saw them scattered.

_Silver's Spells For Love_, _Hex Craft: Dutch Country Po-wow Magick_, _To Ride a Silver Broom stick: New Generation Witchcraft_, and –shudder- _A Witch's Notebook: Lessons in Witchcraft_

When she found out how they got in her library she'd give the detention to that student THEN burn the books.

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AN: Silver RavenWolf wrote those books and obviously came up with those titles, NOT ME!! And if you happen to like those books it's just one of the icon on the list so sorry.

And BTW everyone: went ahead this morning and deleted AN note and posted it on profile. So _now all the chapter number's are sorta off...whatever. Just minus one for them **not the first one though** all and that's what they are_.

**Vixen519**


	19. Stripping

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

**Chapter 19: Stripping**

Dobby had been taking care of Winky ever since the unfortunate dismissal a few years back with her rude master. She had begun to drink less now and gotten back to her old self now that she was forgetting all about it!

"…Crouch says your clothes are his and you stole them so you have to give them over to me so I may owl them back to him" Dobby heard Draco telling her. She then proceeded strip down and smiled whilst doing so, Dobby looking horrified! Once done she glanced up at the peroxide blonde and he said "PWNED!"

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AN: yeah, putting up a few more before I hit the "cant post for a bit" phase, which is coming in a few days. And it'll be for a week and a half! So doing lots now while I can for you lot -hearts-

_Vixen519_


	20. Animagus

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

**Chapter 20: Animagus**

Tonks wanted to seriously hurt Fred and George right now! She was teaching them how to become Animagus and they believed their forms were well, annoying like them.

"Fred I am SO a tribble! I'm all soft, small and purring when I do…"

"Estrogen party of one for you George. But I am a sloth. Not sure how that happened since I do most of the work, maybe because I don't wash any of my laundry?"

"You gits! One a tribble is MADE-UP, and two no-one can be a sloth since your transformation will be an active animal –groan-"

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AN: yeah, combination one for this one. Combined 26 and 27 if you know the chart THAT well.

_Vixen519_


	21. Pet

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

**Chapter 21**: **Pet**

Albus allowed things slip here and there rule-wise a lot. But this was ridiculous! The rule was plain a simple Students are allowed a rat, toad, cat or owl for pets. NOTHING else was allowed, so why was this even becoming an issue?

He was now looking at some ball-sy first years who decided to bring as pets that included: a HUGE reticulated python – which was making him hold his wand rather tightly- , a young snow leopard which the student urged was completely tame, a Tasmanian devil and in a tank a piranha!

Whatever happened to obeying the rules?!

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AN: rule is of course from Book 1 and icon number 28

_Vixen519_


	22. Wear

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

AN: This Chapter is _dedicated_ to the awesomeness of my sudden reviewer The Lime-Wielding Ninja. 6 awesomely cool reviews that made my morning as corny as it sounds. Onward now

**Chapter 22: Wear**

"Now Mr. Lupin, as a werewolf are there any particular things you have to wear?" Rita Skeeter interviewing him. It was all going in a book titled "People Influencing Harry Potter".

" –Sigh- I wear some tired down clothes around the full moon because I tend to tear them when I transform if that's what you mean" He knew what she was asking but wanted her to say it so that silly quill would write every bit down.

"Do you or do you not wear a flea collar like the rumors say?!"

"As I told my late friend Sirius at Hogwarts, No"

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OH some of you may have noticed in the layout of chapters, as Lime-Weilding Ninja did, that there is NO chapter two. there IS just mis-labeled on my part and am too lazy to go back and re-label it. It goes 1-Bees, **2-Fake Irwinian**, 3-Extra Credit and so on. Hope that clears that mess up some :D

One more before I dissappear for a few days aka Labor day weekend and my exam -epp-!

_Vixen519_


	23. Duck

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

AN: WHOOPS, skipped this accidentally but it's only out of order by one! It was supposed go before Wear, my bad!

**Chapter 23: Duck**

"I do"

"No you don't"

"I do"

"No you don't"

"I do"

"No you don't"

"I do"

"No you don't"

"I do"

"No you don't"

"I do"

"_No_ you **don't**"

"_Yes_ I **DO**!"

Severus Snape usually got this crap from Harry but today he seriously wanted to kill Ronald and say it was an accident gone wrong in Potions.

"Just because some silly movie that came out when your parents were your age SAID you do, does **NOT **mean you DO _RON WEASLEY_!! "

"I'm telling you; because we are wizards / witches we weight the same as a duck Professor!"

- - -

Have now done the first two charts, well most of them anyways. LOTS of funny in the ones to come, I defiantly need to make all these mini's there own folder on my compy, starting to take up some space on here. From the looks of it only 3 of the next 4 charts are kinda iffy on not writing so YAYS all around.

What to come is some references to things that you may not get and I'll say what is to in the AN's or even in the mini. And of course many giggles! Until then Laters,

_Vixen519_


	24. Patronus

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

AN: Yeah I am back and am on a writing frenzy! Seriously, and editing my first _major_ ficlet Bewitched, Bothered & Hogwarts?! Which has been need of that for 2 years now, well re-write that is. And then there is obviously this ficlet, which by the way THANK YOU FOR ALL THE HITS YOU GUYS! I am at 1,420 currently so this is dedicated to you lot.

**Chapter 24: Patronus Problems**

Harry was beginning to regret the day he ever learned the stupid Patronus from Remus back in his third year now. And loathe all who watched muggle television. He was currently teaching his fellow students how to do said spell since their teacher had sprained his wand arm and he was on the verge of hexing them all.

"Look Harry, my Patronus is a naked girl!"

"Who cares Goyle, besides that's the closest you'll ever get! MINE is a Dalek –smirk-"

"If it's _anything _from Doctor Who Neville it's the Tardis"

Hexing would begin with Hermione, most defiantly.

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Will post more tomorrow, y'all got what the refence was right? Off to edit BBH more now, it's been VERY neglected over time : /

_Vixen519_


	25. Trevor

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

AN: When sick, use cough drops to make ficlets! Seriously though, have called in to work and am using today to catch up y'all. Didn't lie about the sickness. Have brain problems and if I don't get right amount of sleep then things get _really_ bad and I have to go to the hospital. So here I am :D

**Chapter 25: Trevor**

Neville was having one of _those_ weeks again. Snape was a complete arse to him for making a slight error in potions and giving Hermione **gigantic** breasts accidentally. Ron was out for his blood after that little mess up!

And now his beloved pet, Trevor was missing yet again. He knew he should've listened to Gran when she said "a nice owl will serve him loads better then a dingy frog".

Suddenly he spotted Trevor being held by Ron! And he was holding him up to his mouth. Then Ron licked the toad and put him down. '_Ew, Trevor was in the toilet, this morning'_

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heh heh heh

_Vixen519_


	26. Dune

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

AN: Skipping the Arithmacy one cuz don't understand -1 all that much anyways. Onward now

**Chapter 26: Dune**

Harry had been cautious of Ravenclaws ever since he had arrived to Hogwarts. They reminded him of something but could not quite put his finger on it.

Then one day in the library, in the muggle section, when he came upon the book that triggered the caution in the first place. They reminded him of mentats in training from Dune!!

"What's up Harry?" Harry jumped up out of his spot, it was Terry Boot! Trying to cover the book without getting hexed he talked, "Nothing".

"Oh you got Dune, yeah we all laugh about that in the Common Room"

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eh, not loving this - maybe you lot will like this better then me.

_Vixen519_


	27. Resemblance

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

AN: I love Apple and there updates, seriously. Especially the visualizer feature, yes easily amused hence me writing these heh heh heh.

**Chapter 27: Resemblance**

"Mum I was so scared, even worse then when Harry and I had to go into the Forbidden Forest for Hagrid to talk to the stupid spiders!" Ron blubbered.

"Now Ronald I am sure that it wasn't THAT bad it was _just_-"Molly tried telling him but Hermione interrupted her.

"No, I was there and it was terrifyingly close to the real thing" Charlie had walked in about here and was incredible confused. "What are you three talking about?"

"Lord of the Rings has Nazguls resembling our Dementors perfectly; we were terrified I tell you!" Ron informed him as Charlie shook his head at him.

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I had too much fun with this one. Seriously. Lots of giggeling, one would think I was drunk, but was not.

_Vixen519_


	28. Cloak

Things Not Allowed to Do At Hogwarts

AN: 1st of all, skipping 'change password for prefect's bathroom'. Because well, I don't wanna do that and already did one for the prefects bathroom. Stupid fourth movie makes me all awkward-feely. 2nd, reason there hasn't been a post in bit. It's actually QUITE an excellent reason! Got hit by Hurricane Ike, yeah _that_ inhaled most profusely. So here's some giggles for you lot (and me)

**Chapter 28: Cloak **

Mad-Eye was going to murder the Hufflepuffle's this time. They were running around telling all they had a new invisibility cloak of a _grander_ kind. With his special eye he could see **and** tell it was no cloak. This was going to be interesting.

"Come to the Hufflepuff C.R to get your very own invisibility thong! Imagine: swimming and being covered down there ladies!" One of the morons chanted.

However Mad-Eye's fun was broken up here because Snape gave all the lads detention, but not before taking the entire stock for himself for some odd reason. He'd investigate that later definitely.


	29. Away

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

**Chapter 29: Away**

Draco could be quite clever sometimes like outside of the classroom. He had convinced Crabbe and Goyle; to go up to the Gryffin-dorks every day for a month and tell them, well you'll see. Oh there they were doing it for the 27th of October!

"Oi, Creevey: we need a word with you!" Crabbe hollered.

He froze in his tracks but listened. "You see we absolutely LOVE you photography skills and –"Crabbe shoved him there.

"OH what we wanted to ask you is: How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" Then the two ran, leaving him alone utterly clueless.

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AN: It being the Halloween month, one post per day is my goal

_Vixen519_


	30. Pose 1

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

**Chapter 30: Pose 1**

Breathe in. Breathe Out. Hermione Granger just had to repeat that to herself as she walked. She was determined to do this; it was for a present she was making and knew she could trust him doing this. Any one else would show _everyone,_ that would be ten times worse then her fourth year!

"Oh Colin, may I speak to you in private please?"

They went into the abandoned class nearby to talk, "I need your help with a project I am doing currently, particularly your photography skills. Can you take some erm private shots of myself for Ron?"

He simply whimpered, drooled and nodded his head.

* * *

AN: Yay, I am following through thus far! _Looks at chapter #_ holy fraggles that's lots of giggles

_Vixen519_


	31. 42

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

**Chapter 31: 42**

It was that dreaded time of year all hated at Hogwarts: OWLS. Well fifth years at least, every one around them avoided them if possible because they weren't aware what they'd do. Dean Thomas for example had chosen too _not_ study most of the year and it had proven a rather poor choice now that he had the test in front of him.

_16. How many limbs does a Doxy have?_

_-42_

_17. Height of an Erkling?_

_-42 inches_

"Why did you bother taking this Thomas – no answer would be better for you!" He looked up; it was Draco who whispered it.


	32. Serious

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

**Chapter 32: Serious**

Minerva always did the same sort of things every day. It was her routine one could say, but she would not say that aloud. However one day her routine was rudely disrupted, all because of one Scorpius Malfoy.

It was at a family gathering for the Weasley's, which the Malfoy's were there as well. Little Scorpius waddled up to her and proclaims "Daddy and his co-oker say you too serious!"

The party grew deathly quite until Minerva laughed and said "Well your father never saw me joke around, he was too busy at school losing house points!"

* * *

eh, I'll do better for tomorrow - promise! Or...ANOTHER POST FOR TONIGHT!

_Vixen519_


	33. List

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

**Chapter 33: List**

Lucius was just sitting at his breakfast table, minding his own business when some unrecognizable owl flew in, dropped off a thick envelope and left. Quickly making sure no curses were upon it then opened it.

Evil Overlord List

- _The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, or any other form of last request_

_- If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?" I will reply "This." and kill advisor_.

After reading these few lines he could **swear** he heard Dobby and that other annoying house-elf giggling in the other hallway.

* * *

I TOLD you I would do another update! I feel this was much better then the previous :D list found from **Peter's Evil Overlord List** - just google it.

_Vixen519_


	34. Love 9

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

**Chapter 34: Love #9**

She wanted to know. Scratch that, NEEDED to know! And she was going to keep asking about what she needed to know about until she got her answers.

Romilda Vane had heard about it since, well as long as she could remember and had wanted to learn everything about it since then. But her mother refused to say anymore besides its name, and she found herself hexed. Now she was in Potions again, exactly where she needed to be.

"Professor Snape, are we going to be learning how to make Love Potion #9 today?" he rolled his eyes and stomped off.

* * *

Romilda always made me giggle

_Vixen519_


	35. Pointy

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

* * *

AN: GO VOTE AT mugglenet . com !! it's Molly VS. Slughorn today!!

* * *

**Chapter 35: pointy**

There things in life Harry did not get. He had been wondering about it ever since he had seen Fantasia with the Mickey Mouse scene from the cupboard sneakily back at the Dursleys at the age of five when it was on television. One of his pleasanter memories of his childhood.

"Professor Dumbledore? May I ask you something?"

"Anything Harry" with that odd twinkle in his eye he responded.

"How in the WORLD do you keep your hat so darn pointy? I can't do it but yours…"

"Magic" Harry smacked his head upon Albus' portrait and the portrait just giggled at his frustration.

* * *

I thought of this while re-reading the 6th book today at work. To nerdy?

_Vixen519_


	36. First Years

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

**Chapter 36: First Years**

"Now sing it JUST like we taught you and you lot won't have to be tested on our brand new version of Canary Creams!" George Weasley told the first years.

_A wizard's staff has a knob on the end_

_It never will buckle, it never will bend._

_He cherishes it, and calls it his friend_

_And frequently takes it in hand!_

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS MR. WEASLEY?!" McGonagall barked out at him once hearing what they were singing.

"Made a promise with Fred I would do this once and now I have" He smiled, leaving confused people behind.

* * *

kinda sad on the last part but I liked it

_Vixen519_


	37. Books

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

**Chapter 37: Books**

"Why?"

"Why what, Luna?"

"Why haven't you asked me yet?" she asked with a pout upon her face. Ginny took a deep breath, when Luna was in a mood like this she had to ask precise questions or Luna could hex her something horrible.

"Ask you about what?" trying to stay calm since the youngest Weasley did not know how long the questioning would take.

"TO BORROW MY BLOODY DARKOVER BOOKS!" She wailed at her and then promptly stomped off.

"She _needs_ to lay off the Firewiskey" Ginny muttered under her breath and picked up the abandoned book left by Luna.

* * *

An: sorry for no post yesterday, computer died for a minute but all is well again. FYI author is a like one of the people in fic. You guess. 10/10

_Vixen519_


	38. Life

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

**Chapter 38: Life**

Her inner eye had informed her that she had to do this or he would not live through the final battle. She walked up to him, "Oh Harry may I take a small moment of your time to talk about something?"

"For the thousandth time Lavender, I will not hex Ron in his sleep for you!"

"Oh it's not that, though I'll talk to you about that after this, do you have any life insurance? Like All-State?"

He sort of gapped at her for a moment, taking in her question then replied "I'm with Prudential Financial"

* * *

am posting again in morning

_Vixen519_


	39. Siriusly

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

**Chapter 39: Sirius-ly**

The only reason they had made the discover is because of the Muggle Studies Professor Burbage, had assigned them all to read famous muggle novels. Hermione chose _Bronte_, Ron picked out _Sherlock Holmes_ and Harry got _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy._

While reading the oddity of the novel though he came across something made him wonder how exactly his godfather **got** his money.

"Padfoot, how'd your family get your cash if you don't mind me asking?"

"We own part of broom company, why?"

"So y'all don't own Sirius Cybernetics Corporation?" Sirius gauffed and ruffled Harry's hair, then proceeded to tell Remus.

* * *

AN: Because I am bored at work as of late and re-reading HP7, and took how Sirius' family got money from a ficlet I read AGES ago but forgot name –blush-

_Vixen519_


	40. Sexy

**Things Not Allowed to Do At Hogwarts**

AN: Sry for being away, got licensed for LMT and discovered an old friend has a brain tumor so my humor was gone for a while due to the last. But went and saw Role Models tonight and feel some humor coming back. Go easy on me.

* * *

**Chapter 40: Sexy**

They could not help but look at him.

Yes he was older then them but he was soddin' sexy! The way he would almost stride into a room demanding all to glance at him, thus keeping their gazes on his figure.

It was no love potion that did this to Ginerva and Hermione, just hormones noticing a Auror with their eyes. So when he came up to them one day during their exams they were utterly horrified about what came out of their mouths.

"Good Evening Hermione, Ginny!"

"Hello Big Black Sexy Auror" they swooned in chimed and within seconds realized their error.

* * *

will try to post again asap - btw y'all got who that was right?

~Vixen519


	41. Not His First Name

**Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts**

AN: I said it'd be soon, didn't I? As I currently am typing this with hiccups this shall be interesting how it turns out. FYI _Willow Uffgood_ is owned by the fabulous Ron Howard, also we ALL know I do not own Yoda because if I did I wouldn't be here typing this  


* * *

**Chapter 41: Not his 1****st**** Name**

Over the years they had observed many things about the skilled Professor Flitwick. He was potentially _older_ than even Dumbledore but were a little afraid to ask him that as he held the power of failing or passing them. However there was only ONE thing they never knew about their Professor since they had stepped into the Great Hall: his first name!

"It has to be Willow, like as Uffgood"

"Seamus you twit; it HAS to be Yoda! He must be him, after all he has that power and movies elaborate stuff all the time!"

"Your **both** wrong, it's Filius" Moony informed Seamus & Dean.

* * *

May i just say it's GREAT to be back and good to see reviews again :D, look for another post tomorrow as I do not have work for awhile

_~Vixen519_


	42. Pimp Cane

**Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts**

AN: If you like this, check out Bewitched, Bothered and Hogwarts which is now flowing quite with its rewrite / repost and is currently at chapter 9 – Bad News. For you more serious folk, onward to the laughter before I fall asleep now:

* * *

**Chapter 42: Pimp Cane**

The entire school was well aware not to make fun of the Malfoy family or something would come to pass to their personage. They always noticed when Lucius showed up to one of Draco's Quidditch matches to support him as their hair stood out in crowds of hundreds. The feature that stood out most though was his elaborate cane, which all knew held his wand. It was one day during the Slytherin match to Gryffindor someone yelled, "Hey Draco where's your father with his pimp cane?"

Draco only reacted, next thing he knew the poor 3rd year was in the Hospital Wing for a week.


	43. Breeding

**Things Not Allowed to Do At Hogwarts**

AN: Happy Holidays oh and totally don't own Marvin Gaye, Crookshanks or Norbert obviously!

* * *

**Chapter 43: Breeding**

**

* * *

  
**

Whoever put Hagrid and Charlie Weasley together in that room for those hours _would_ be punished most severely with at least a detention of some kind. At least this was the opinion of one Severus Snape.

- Three Hours Earlier in Hagrids Hut -

"Eh Charlie, what do you think it'd be like if a dragon and a cat breed?"

He looked baffled as if some one poured slime down his trousers only to tell him it was a marriage ritual, "Hagrid I honestly don't know if that's legal"

"Who cares do it anyways!" and that's how Snape found poor Crookshanks in a box with Norbert with Marvin Gaye playing.

* * *

_Yeah I had too much fun describing his face but it was worth pushing to 100 word challenge to myself :D_

_~vixen519_


	44. Courage

_Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts_

AN: Sorry I haven't posted in some time, I was in the hospital shortly after the last post for a –super- bad fall and had to get stitches. Then after I got back from recovering from that work decided 'hey lets over work___!' so that's why no post in over a month. So shall make up for it now!

**Chapter 44: Courage**

It was late, or was it early morning? The Gryffindor's weren't quite sure as they had been celebrating their rather glorious victory over the heinous Slytherin's in a game of Quidditch that afternoon, or yesterday?

After the game Ginny had snuck in some Firewiskey, how they did not know but knew everyone was drinking it without McGonagall knowing somehow. The group also knew they wanted to suddenly run around the castle nude for some reason and they did.

This was where Albus found them; well Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny fighting over the last bottle in the Astronomy Tower claiming it gave them courage which he laughed at them for.

* * *

next chapter shall be later today!!!

_~Vixen519_


	45. Larger

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

AN: As promised

**Chapter 45: Larger**

Minerva McGonagall was going to quit this time she swore it!

Apparently Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes had decided to test out a new candy on the 3rd years without permission from any house head, just Dumbledore. They didn't explain what the candy was to him to the students either, they just said it was peanut-butter and chocolate flavored.

Several students, boy and girls, instantly ate some test pieces and within seconds their parts began to grow in certain areas. The girl's chest area for some got so massive their shirts busted open and ran off while the boys attempted to chase after them with their larger 'wand'.

* * *

this one may get me in trouble...

_~Vixen519_


	46. Feed

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

AN: I think I have the energy to do this; then again I might internal bleeding right now so not sure this shall go…

**Chapter 46: Feed**

He finally had a good reason to take points, heck who was he kidding – for this charade he could suspended the whole HOUSE! As a fellow student Percy Weasley doubted the Headmaster would let him do that as Head – Boy but it was he whom caught the Slytherin's doing that while on patrol.

Percy had been on 3rd-floor corridor when he suddenly heard the screams, which obviously caught his attention after years with Fred and George. Arriving on the scene he discovered one Pansy Parkinson and many others he didn't bother with names as he froze them as they had tried to "feed" the first years to Fluffy for they had annoyed them in the Great Hall that day.

* * *

FYI am in the process of writing TWO Twilight fanfic's, only one shall be on here as I doubt would let me post it on here longer then 5 minutes before deleting beforemy account. But the one that SHALL be on here is a X-Over between an old movie I've loved since I was like 5 AND BTVS. May sound confuzzling but once I post the prologue and summary all shall make sense.

If you guess what the movie is you get a prize!!! Only hints: Came out in 65' AND "he missed the barn!". This x-over mix has been bugging me for **DAYS** and must be written, ya know?

_~Vixen519_


	47. Wands

Things Not Allowed To Do

AN: Yes I know it has been ages. Compy sort of died horribly on me and now am on a laptop :D so lost ALL the data I was using on old and have been trying to get it back since with just the brain.

* * *

**Chapter 47: Wands**

It was a dark day in Hogwarts History. Nobody had died but Albus felt the intelligence of the future generations had permanently. Everything had been fine one day and the next was pure madness! Students were, dare he recall it (?) drumming on their and more dreadful things with their wands!

The very memory of it all was horrible. And he had seen some grisly things over the years. But now because of this 'rebellion' he had gathered all the students in the Great Hall to tell them to no longer do these things.

'Oh Son of a Banshee'

A first year was picking his nose again with his wand.


	48. Shampoo

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

AN: Since I have neglected y'all for so long, which sooo sorry for!!!

* * *

**Chapter 48: Shampoo**

Someone was definitely going to pay for this continuation of pranking him! Severus understood the fact that he was the most loathed professor in Hogwarts, heck relished in it but recently this was extreme!

Lately someone in the school had been placing samples of a muggle shampoo called 'Selsun Blue' all around his chambers, his classroom and his mail! The reason he new it was for him was it was addressed to him personally. He asked Minerva about it and she just giggled.

So in the end Severus did was he always does, give Potter and Weasley detention.

* * *

I hope y'all like this and I plan on updating this again tomorrow as I have no work tomorrow :D

~Vixen519


	49. Fodder

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

AN: AS I'm distracting myself from more serious matters currently:

* * *

**Chapter 49: Fodder**

There would be some serious revenge for this new revelation.

Ernie Macmillan was very unpleased about what the other houses thought of his beloved Hufflepuff. Helga Hufflepuff herself would come down and want retribution, wouldn't she? That was why he went to another housemate of his to ask what to do.

"Oi, Zach!"

"WHAT is it, it had better be important Ernie I'm 'reading' here".

"Just the fact that other houses saying that we're canon fodder is all & I think we should get back at them".

The next day at breakfast, as a house effort, the other house had massive 'food poisoning' from what Pomfrey could tell.

* * *

- - -

Hope this get's forgiveness for being away for so long. Will _try_ to get another in this week but make no promises as Mom had surgery and I'm planning my own wedding now! (hence the lack of updating recently

~Vixen519


	50. Swedish Chef?

**To Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts**

AN: again distracting myself from news / life AND for actor's birthday _:D -_ Happy Birthday Tom!!!

* * *

**Ch.50: Potions Chef?**

Something was _seriously_ wrong with Draco Malfoy this day in Potions class. Nobody had seen him hexed but they sensed it after what he was doing currently. It was as if he was speaking gibberish and they could only really make out a few words really. The muggleborns were giggling something mad while all the purebloods –minus the Weasley's – at his antic's. All of his 'talk' and throwing in his ingredients while doing thus.

"What. The DEVIL IS GOING ON HERE?" Snape hollered / entered. All the other students stopped while Draco continued, Snape observed him for a few moments.

"Draco Malfoy - STOP acting like Swedish Chef – 25 points from Slytherin"

* * *

~Vixen519


	51. Befriending

**Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts**

AN: Because I am VIOLENTLY sick :(

* * *

**51: Befriending**

Percy Weasley knew something was afoot when he saw his brother's George and Fred talking to a few First Years. But what **really** caught what he believed to be quiet sharp mind of Percival was when he saw his mischievous younger brothers is when he sees something very terrifying. Fred and George taking the First Years _towards_ the Whomping Willow!

"Dear brothers – what do you think your doing?" The pair of them tensed up, 'Ha! I've caught them!'

"We're merely showing the First Years how friendly Hogwarts is brother!" Fred, or was is George?.

"But you're going towards the Whomping Willow?"

"THAT'S WHAT IT'S CALLED??!?! They said it was a tree full of surprise and awesomeness!" some random first year said crying while running away.

"You Git! and with that they gave him a wedgie, again.

* * *

Oh now that I've hit 50+ chapters, I'm now extending my word limit to 130-170 :D . So tell me what you think of that AND the chapter(s) of course!?!? I'm kinda iffy in this one but shall **you** all be the judge on that.

~Vixen519


	52. Good V Evil

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

**AN:** Gonna post a few of these today as sick with insane cold / fever. Thank MST3K for giving me my funny bone back – hence the lack of posting – and wedding planning.

* * *

**52 – Good V. Evil**

Everyone was battling deatheaters and they battling the students, along The Order of The Phoenix. The Ministry, of course, had yet to arrive as they had been dealing with some problem in Egypt with the dragon's there.

Nobody had fallen yet on either side but some rather nasty hexes had been thrown. Bellatrix for some odd reason was doing a sort of hex to make you turn into a warped cat but human size with big poufy hair. Hermione, when seeing this, muttered something about a Cats musical.

One thing that brought thing's to a halt was when Colin Creevy suddenly cried out "THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!".

Both sides sort of just stared at him until a random deatheater hit him with a full body tickiling hex? This was by far _the_ weirdest battle Hogwarts had seen!


	53. Get a Life

Things Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

AN: This is my favorite one, ever _:D_  


* * *

**53 - Life**

Tom Riddle was not a man to be trifled with.

All knew this, well everyone one who knew him at least. His victims were sometimes a bit dimwitted to say the least.

His current problem however was one daughter of some official at the Ministry that he **had** to get information about before polyjuicing as him around the Ministry. And she was making it rather difficult.

"And then Daddy said 'No 'Jessy I will NOT buy you those robes because we cannot afford them!' which is bull because he works at the M.O.M – RIGHT?". This blabbering had been going on for half an hour as the veritaserum had not been ready. And now he had snapped because he couldn't give less of a shit about her not getting those robes.

"LOOK JUST TELL ME ABOUT YOUR SODDIN' DAD'S WORK DAY NOT YOUR LIFE STORY OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!"

She blinked then whispered, "Omg, Dude get a life!"

To which he did.


	54. Pince's Library

**Things Not Allowed to Do at Hogwarts**

* * *

** 54 - Pince's Historical Section**

Irma Pince was –very- upset about the foul, childish and just plain **_mean_** thing that had happened in her beloved library. The place was, rather is her home more than any other place in the world. So when she came into the room she so cherished, more than Hermione Granger, she was horrified to see things utterly out of place and some books added into the collection.

Upon first look she thought they were the new books she was expecting. They were **not**! Upon the shelves in the 'Historical Reference' section were several muggle books from what she could tell. 'Cinderella', 'Hansel & Gretel', 'Rapunzel' and others. After checking around the library more she found other miscellaneous books had been placed in other sections as well.

Later that day she just figured the Weasley Twins were being cheeky and gave them detention. It wasn't like they weren't going to get one eventually this week


	55. Hermione's Force

**Things Not Allowed to Do at Hogwarts**

_55 - Hermiones Force_

* * *

Hermione shouldn't have done it, yes the Weasley Clan was –really- into muggle realted things but this was the LAST time she ever showed them anything…well maybe not .

**-FLASHBACK-**

"_Please_ Hermione?!?" He whined.

"I'm not explaining how they work again – just watch the blasted movie Ron!"

And so they - the Weasleys & Harry – proceeded to watch the fabulous 'Star Wars' trilogy for the rest of the weekend.

After the first movie the Twins tried to make their wands like lightsabers, Molly stopped that within seconds before the total destruction some of her favorite furniture. Once the second one ended they were shocked about the revelation of Luke & were trying to do some of the things Luke learned from Yoda for Force Training. The third one Harry and Ginny made out the whole time which promtped Charlie & Bill to "use the force" to separate their lips along with hands.

**-END OF FLASHBACK-**

"Can we watch it again PLEASE Hermione", Bill begged.

"ACCIO MOVIES"

"Oh my gowsh Hermione – you just totally used the force!!!"

Then head banging began for her.

* * *

Yeah day off....well an extra one atleast

_~Vixen519_


	56. My Liege?

AN: Well hello again – it's been what, a year? Sorry about that btw – getting married makes life busier then I thought. Then my computer went and deleted my Word program so this was the first chance I was able to buy it / dL. Expect more of these this week.

* * *

**Chapter 56 – My –Liege-?**

* * *

There were just some days during the school year at Hogwarts Albus could just hex his entire staff at Hogwarts. Unfortunately it was turning out to be one of those _weeks_ for him and he was on the verge of shoving the whole lot of them into the Room of Requirement, which as the days passed with this new thing they were doing it, was getting more tempting. Sure he'd have to teach all seven years, including all four houses but if it got rid of his annoying colleagues for a short day or two it would totally be worth it. Oh crap here was Severus and he knew what was about to say,

"Ah there you are, My Liege! I've been looking for you for hours all over the grounds"

"For the last time Severus; it's Albus or Headmaster – NEVER that"


	57. Worse News

**Ch 57 – Worse News**

For someone who always gave bad news, she was not taking this very well. No she was not taking this well _at all_. Sybill Trelawney knew she was not immortal but for –this- to happen was just plain awful. Ever since she was a little girl in school she _knew_ she had the gift of sight like her famous ancestor! So naturally she assumed she'd be able to see anything good, or bad that would come her way in the future.

She never even fathomed some third year, a Hufflepuff none-the-less predicting her death! At first she thought it was some joke but then they went into such detail it was startling. No she did not have much longer for this world she feared….

Fred and George Weasley stood outside the classroom waiting for the third-year until they swept him into a broom-closet.

"You told her word for word what we paid to say?", he nodded eagerly. They looked at each other until they heard her wailing. Paying him they walked away whistling. Showed her – she'd prophesied last week they'd never scare someone to death.

* * *

Not entirely pleased with this one, to me it seems a tad darker then I intended but I never really cared for her. If you haven't picked it up yet - I ADORE the Twins

_~Vixen519_


	58. Closet

**Ch 58 – Out of the Closet?**

* * *

Harry Potter had been going back to Gryffindor tower from detention down in Potions, while Draco Malfoy had been serving with Dumbledore in his office. So when they bumped into one another the two were too tired to fight but when they were suddenly shoved into a closet and heard it lock they were _pissed!_

"Potter this better not be one of your pranks against me"

"Are you off your rocker? Ginny is gonna be bloody mad enough as it is that I'm late back to the common room. Besides how do I know this isn't one of –your- schemes?"

He just threw him a typical Malfoy glare.

"Good point"

So no matter how loud they screamed not soul heard them until morning when Professor McGonagal opened the closet and they fell out, on top of each other!

"I TOLD PROFESSOR POTTY POTTER AND MINI MALFOY WERE DOING NASTY THINGS", Peeves cackled. This unfortunately was in front of half of both of their houses. Ginny was already wielding her wand and snarling and Draco, same with…Blaise?

* * *

I've always suspected something went on between Draco and Blaise.

_~Vixen519_


	59. Who ya gonna call?

AN: I gave you guys THREE chapters in one day and not one peep / review? That makes me sad :( . And I -know- y'all read it. On a happier note this fic has hit 14k+ hits!

* * *

**Ch 59 – who ya gonna call?**

* * *

Every house at Hogwarts loved their resident ghost; yes even the Hufflepuff's loved their Friar. And yes there were other ghost's hanging around the school grounds but nobody thought anything about it. They were wizard's and witches, it was normal every day stuff from their eyes as far they could tell. Well unless you were a muggleborn.

"You. Did. WHAT?"

"Ron, I'm merely helping these former wizards, witches and…whatever Peeves is move **on** with their existence so they can go onto the next plane with their loved ones who await them"

"So…that still doesn't explain why in the bloody hell you called –THEM- here"

And there, in the Great Hall, stood four older men. They were all holding the weirdest contraptions that sort of glowed, wearing matching jumpsuits with the oddest logo proclaiming who they were. They all seemed to be about Lupin's and Sirius' age and talked with American accents.

"Ronald I think the name of their company explains WHO they are and WHY I called them: they are the Ghostbusters!"


	60. news

Author's Note:

Yeah, I know it's been awhile but the last few times I HAVE updated y'all haven't R&R. All I ask is for you say some simple stuff like how it could be better or if it was funny.

That's why I've posted a poll on my profile for you all to vote if I should continue with this or do one more chapter and that be it.

_**You have until 9/30/11 till the poll closes**_

~Vixen519


	61. Chapter 60 Correct Manner

**Chapter 60 – Correct Manner**

Remus Lupin should have known Albus would have gotten him back eventually. After all –he- was part of the Marauders' during his time at Hogwarts and had pulled quite a few pranks on the headmaster while they were there.

'_I should have been suspicious when I saw that damned twinkle appear in his eye, he's always up to *something* when it appears!'_

And now he was aware of what Albus' revenge for all those pranks his friends and him had done during their seven years: teaching the Weasley Twins. That's if he didn't lock them up with Severus and let thing's 'accidentally' happen at the rate they were going…

"Now who can tell me what the Third Unforgivable curse does?"

They were bouncing in their seats with their hands raised, "Oh us Professor WE know – pick US!"

"Well, go on and tell us Fred and George"

"It does DEATH!"

Okay yes it did but after that he'd never seen so many shocked or appalled faces. In a way he knew Sirius would be laughing if he could see this.

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AN: the vote for poll is tied 50/50, you still have 5 days till it closes so go vote! Still don't own these guys :(

don't forget to R&R - it makes me update faster, much faster then favoriting. Which is shiny but you know what I mean

~Vixen519


	62. Out of the Closet?

**AN**: poll is continued through Halloween now as it's still tied *sigh*, so GO VOTE! Inspiration for this chapter btw is "Vanilla Ice Cream" bye Stephen Lynch. And for the record I have nothing against the LGBT community.

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**Chapter 61 - Out of the Closet?**

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Harry was just minding his own business. Okay that wasn't true. He was using the Marauder's Map to find out where Ginny was hiding out for their weird game of hide and seek. He was on the 5th floor corridor when he heard Peeves cackle and felt somebody shove him into a closet. Harry lit his wand when he saw Draco glaring at him from the other side of the, what he now saw was a broom storage closet.

"Potter, I've been in here for well over two hours and you blocked my one chance of getting out you wanker!"

"Oh and you automatically assume I want to be stuck with your Slytherin whiny self?"

They both glared from opposite sides of said closet while holding random brooms and their wands in defense if either came near the other.

"So scar-head; how are we getting out of here?"

"Um…scream?"

"That's **the** worst idea but I have nothing better"

After a good half hour of screaming they managed to draw a crowd of students, that didn't open the door. However Professor McGonagall did when she heard the noise. They fell out disheveled and in each other's arms at the force of her charm. All the students gasped at the sight.

"What the blazes is going on here?"

"Wee Potty is getting a taste of Malfoy's snake Professor?", Peeves howled. Both the boy's looked appalled at mere idea of that and Blaise was about hex Potter before Snape froze him.

"Peeves…please stop throwing students into this situation! I will have the headmaster send you away"

"Peeves had help from ickle Creevy so he could sell the pictures!"

The screams could be heard all around the castle as Ginny, Blaise, Draco and Harry chased Denis for the camera's pictures.

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~Vixen529


	63. Indefinite Time!

School had only been back in session for barely a month. But that didn't not mean some students were not studying harder then other's to do well for tests to come soon. The house of Rowena Ravenclaw took pride in the knowledge and wit; all knew this and some teased them about this.

It was just a regular, calm morning at Hogwarts. Which should have tipped them all off that something was about to happen because _something_ was always going on! And sure enough within moments of Albus saying his concerns to Minerva some Ravenclaws came running up to the Professor's table in the Great Hall with rather panicked faces.

"Pro—fessor Dumble-dor! What *gasping for air to breathe* -is the meaning of THIS?"

And the end of the rather winded fourth year's student's question, he slammed down onto his very plate a sign of parchment. Albus calmly took out his reading glasses, which he now was quite glad to have remembered to have grabbed them before leaving his chambers. He picked up the sign & read it aloud. And in bright blue lettering it stated thusly:

**THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED FOR AN INDEFINITE TIME PERIOD! – Headmaster Albus Dumbledore**

He shook his head and smiled slightly knowing exactly who was behind this little shenanigan, he placed the parchment back done on the table and stood now that he had the complete attention of the students.

"It would seem some pranksters decided that our dear Ravenclaws have been studying to hard lately and to act as me today. However they forget they are just students and can still earn detentions and howlers from their mother. I'll see you two tonight when you go through to the one-eyed witch for supplies, but instead you'll be serving detention with me!"

Everyone just blinked at him, except Fred and George Weasley whose jaws were on the table and were wondering how in the heck he knew all of that.

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Trick or Treat kiddies - I'm going to posting twice a week - or try to for this month! So for this Read & Review :D

~Vixen519


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